TELL ME HONESTLY, WOULD YOU STILL LOVE ME THE SAME?

It's been almost a year since I wrote something. And it's been so long no because I haven't tried a thousand times to write and post about hundreds of things about mental health, but because every time I started I got stuck in the middle and felt that what I was writing was more an obligation than something that could help understand the subject and the people that are struggling with it.

Sometime ago a great friend told me that the blog served me as a way to precess things that had happen or were happening, and to be honest, at the time it made me very angry because I felt that he was demeriting my effort and what I wrote, but today I understand that surely yes, it is, and that doesn't subtract value to the fact that this way of processing can help people that who have gone through, are going through, will go through or know someone who goes through the same thing.

In this past year many things have changed, starting with me, I have changed a lot: I have improved in many areas, I have grown and I have gotten to known myself in new aspects of life. Many things that I thought would be forever ended, things that I thought would not last continue to grow and strengthen, friends left, others arrived and others returned and in the midst of all this I have learned that God's ways are definitely completely different from ours.

What does all this have to do with mental health, you may wonder, well, everything. In the midst of all the changes that I have experienced, I have been able to see more than ever how God has healed me of my anxiety, since despite the fact that it has been a crazy year, with ups and downs, laughter and much, much crying, I don't remember when was the last time I had a severe anxiety attack. That doesn't mean that there haven't been moments in which it have wanted to happen, it means that in spite of that it is not like it was before, and that's thanks to the fact that God has placed people around me who have helped me tremendously even without they realizing. Because as I have always said, God works through people, we are His hands and feet here on earth.

I want to tell you a little about how they have done it, because although help looks a little different for everyone, there are universal principles. I think that the most important thing, at least for me, has been that these people, in one way or another, have allowed me to be 100% me, with my ups and downs, with all my wonderful qualities, but also with my shortcomings and darkest moments and they have continued to be there, loving me, hugging me and telling me that I am not alone, that they are there and they are not going anywhere no matter what, that it is worth fighting together because I am worth it. In other words, they have shown me the unconditional love of God, that love that loves even when it is not reciprocated, that love that cares more about our hearts than anything else and that love that casts out all fear (1 John 4.18).

And it is that, anxiety is nothing more than an irrational fear of a non-existent future event, therefore when we have people around us who show us that unconditional love, that fear dissipates and little by little it disappears. I understand that sometimes it's not easy to be there when people are going through difficult times, because they are not the most rational, nor the most loving, nor the most pleasant, and many times it is very difficult to see the people we love gong through rough times, but it is there, when we are less lovable, when we need it the most and when that love is going to help us continue improving. In a sermon Dante Gebel said something that stayed with me, "being completely known and loved is the most healing gift that a human being can give to another"

On the other hand, it's important that you understand that many times we don't even know, at the moment, how you can help us, although we do appreciate very much that you ask

us, and that is because at that moment we are not thinking so rationally, so a simple hug and being being there (excuse the redundancy) many times is more than enough, because when that happens we will be more willing to open our hearts when we can think more rationally, due to the fact that we know that our hearts are safe with you. Personally, I tend to run away and I run away because I'm afraid that if someone sees me like that they'll stop loving me, and a few days ago someone asked me if it's better to let me run away, to which I replied that at that time I really didn't know; but after thinking about it and analyzing myself (sometimes I wish I could turn off my head) I understood that I don't want to be allowed to run away, because running away is a response to fear, to misconceptions that I have created in my head, for example that I have to be perfect for them to love me and to deserve love. Therefore, by not letting me run away, they have helped me to break and undo erroneous beliefs. I want to clarify that I know it's not like that and that those thoughts are not true, but in times of anxiety it's those kinds of thoughts that are difficult to get rid of.

And I can give you so many more examples of what my close and inner circle have done to help me, knowingly as well as unknowingly, like making me laugh in that moment, help take my focus off those toxic thoughts and focus them on others, pray in that moment with me and for me (this helps a lot), etc., but I think everything sums up to the following: To love

"This is My commandment: that you love one another, as I have loved you. Greater love has no man than this: that a man lay down his life for his friends.." - John 15.12-13

Love divided the history of humanity in two and although I am completely sure that at the time His sacrifice was not pleasant for Jesus, He did it because He knew the result it would have. In the same way, many times it is not pleasant to be there for people who are going through difficult times for a thousand and one reasons: because we don't know how to help them, because things inside us move that we didn't know we had, because we don't understand why they going through that, especially if they believe in God and have faith, because we have the erroneous belief that being a Christian means being exempt from problems, but well that's another topic, and well many more reasons. But despite that, our love can split the life story of a person in two, but for that we must not forget that love covers a multitude of faults (1 Peter 4.8), and that above all:

"Love is very patient and kind, never jealous or envious, never boastful or proud, never haughty or selfish or rude. Love does not demand its own way. It is not irritable or touchy. It does not hold grudges and will hardly even notice when others do it wrong. It is never glad about injustice, but rejoices whenever truth wins out. If you love someone, you will be loyal to him no matter what the cost. You will always believe in him, always expect the best of him, and always stand your ground in defending him."

- 1 Corinthians 13: 4-7

And yes, it's not easy, but I don't understand the where does the belief that worthwhile things are easy comes from, that if it is not easy and doesn't give us instant happiness then is not. Love is a decision, loving people is a decision and love is work, effort, communication, so in order to show love to those people who go through difficult times in our mental health, we must put aside easy thinking, because helping them will not be easy, but at the end of the road it will be worthwhile.